Em.

Dear Emily,

It makes me proud that when I am asked to write a letter to my sibling, I have you to write to- and I won't have to spend the entire time angry and yelling for you to act right. I am so proud of who you are. I am proud of the head on your shoulders, and not just because it is pretty.
I spent a large part of our relationship being jealous of you. First for being the new baby, later for being the model and actress. Mixed in was resentment that you and mom have always been so close, your relationship so different from the one I have had with her. None of this was your fault, just my own issues- but I recently completed some intense therapy and worked through all of them, and now I fully appreciate everything about who you are. (That last sentence was meant to be funny, but it is also true.)
I love that you are following your dreams. I don't understand the desire to be a model- for the reasons you seem to want it. I can only equate that desire with the need to be desired, but I know that is not who you are. I only understand the desire to be an actress a tiny shred more than the model thing. I think fame is a monster, and not because Lady Gaga called it that. BUT that to say, you are reaching for stars, which is something I am only now learning to do. It inspires me. You inspire me. I hope all of your dreams come true, and I hope you remain exactly who you are living those dreams.
I love that you are close with mom. I know you two have your moments, sometimes days or weeks- but it makes me happy to know that you two share a sort of closeness that I didn't have with her in my youth. Don't ever take it for granted. No matter how bonkers she is sometimes, or what she might say or do, or tell you you can't do, she loves you terribly, so be patient with her. She is a mom, and I understand what that is like.
Lastly, I will say here what I have said to you so many times in person- and I know it is not necessary, because you know, but....boys are douche bags- don't ever forget it. There are diamonds among the rough, but mostly it's just rough- so make sure you have a diamond before you put it on your finger- and this has nothing to do with marriage. It also takes more than a quick glance to determine the quality of a diamond...so keep your microscope handy.
I love you Emily Nicole Loewen. I am proud to be your sister, even in public, when you are dressed better, look fresher and are towering over me.

PS. Unicorn meatballs. (Y)