Getting Out of Dodge.

First off, thank you for not getting me pregnant. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.
I chose to write to you instead of some other lame guy I dated because you are the only one who still sticks out in my mind. Sometimes when I think of you I think of funny things. Bud Light under kitchen tables and pink shower grout. Other times I think of not so funny things. You refusing to be my real life significant other, and my constant vying for your attention or affection or anything. You were hands down the most unhealthy relationship I have ever had, and that my friend, is saying A LOT. 
I dream of you sometimes. More often then I would like, considering I would like never. You aren't any cooler in my dreams then you are in real life. I used to think you were really cool in real life. Everyone wanted to be with you, around you- you were funny and the life of every party, even if it wasn't a party. I don't like to party anymore. I don't think I did then either, I just wanted, like everyone else, to be where you were.
I would like to say I understand anything about you better now than I did then, but I don't. I spent some time with you a few years ago when my marriage was ending, and you seemed to be the same guy I remembered. I got too close and realized how much I absolutely did not want to have anything to do with you, and I missed my husband. I would like to think you were scared of commitment back in the day, but the truth is, for all I know you just weren't that into me.
I am glad none of this matters. I am glad I am where I am, with who I am here with- and I hope you can say the same.

Brooks Decker