I don't remember the day we met. It wasn't some moment that I will never forget. I don't have this fond memory of falling to my knees in your glory. What I do remember is times that came after that. I remember worshiping with a group of my peers at the Upper Room, Pastor Charlton playing the keyboard and your presence being so thick in the room it was paralyzing. I remember going to spring break retreat in Gulf Shores and knowing I would never be the same. I came home and broke up with my boyfriend for you. I talked about my "spiritual language" at the lunchroom table. You filled me with something I had never been full of before.
(I have to FF here because I actually did go back to being the same for a long while.)
I know that when I was acting like a bat out of hell you kept me safe. More so than I probably know or could comprehend. I know when I was 20 years old and 6 months pregnant standing in my sky blue painted dining room crying out to you because my life was a mess and it was my fault, you showed up- even though I had spent so many years ignoring and denying you. I know in that moment you began building my character, shaping me into the person I was meant to be. I don't think you have stopped since then, even in my own staleness. I know when my marriage was falling apart you made me strong and patient and thoughtful and hopeful. You took what was broken and made it whole again. I know in my darkest moments, the ones that only me and you see, you are there and you are holding me. I know that no matter how dark those moments have become, no matter how close I am to the bottom of the barrel, you have never dropped me- and I know you never will. You have loaned me the two most awesome human beings I know, and trusted me to show them who you are and how much you love them.
I could go on forever. Everything good in my life has come from you, and is because of you.
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