To the Woman I Want to Be:

I wish that you could wake up at 5AM and take a shower. You'd take your time and carefully and lovingly wash your hair and body with organic, natural products that don't contain parabens or Sodium Laureth Sulfate. You'd never forget to shave your legs. You'd comb your hair and moisturize your skin and put on just a touch of makeup. You'd choose earrings or bracelets that would accessorize perfectly with your funky, stylish and eccentric outfit that you found at a thrift store. And then, you'd get started on breakfast. You wouldn't stop at the coffee pot or rush outside quickly for a Marlboro. You'd cut fruit and bake steel cut oats and grind flaxseed. You wouldn't be feeding your children dinosaur egg, microwaveable oatmeal. You'd set the table on placemats that you'd made last winter and you'd call the children to eat. You'd sit with them and their organic, whole-food-breakfast and you'd smile and laugh and talk excitedly about the upcoming day.

You'd walk with the children to the bus stop, and you wouldn't be wearing your pajamas. The boys would be in rainboots with matching slickers and maybe handknit hats. They'd be wearing organic t-shirts. You'd own an umbrella. Their faces would be washed and their teeth would be brushed (and flossed!) The baby would still be wearing cloth diapers that you had dried on the line out back. You most certainly would not be purchasing disposable diapers at Walmart.

You'd go to the gym. You'd tidy up the house using vinegar and water and a touch of essential oils. You'd check off everything on your To-Do list. You'd bake granola bars or dehydrate fruit or whip up some hummus and cut up fresh vegetables for an after school snack.

The boys would return home from school and you wouldn't own a television and they wouldn't miss not having one. They'd play with wooden toys and puzzles and beeswax crayons. Every day, they'd go outside and play with pinecones and sticks and climb in the old treehouse your husband had built in the backyard. They wouldn't be going barefoot or donning water socks because you can't find their shoes. Their faces wouldn't be smeared with snot or stained with the remains of lunch.

You'd volunteer at the school and join the PTA. You'd attend playgroups. You'd bring dishes to potlucks. You'd attend every soccer practice. You'd have dinner parties. You'd be the perfect model of an attachment parent who was skilled and well seasoned at gentle discipline.

Homework time would be enjoyable and pleasant, because you would be patient. Dinner would be simmering on the stove and when your husband arrives home from work, you would have time to give him affection and exchange pleasantries. Dinner would be a repeat of breakfast, with the proper ration of vegetables and protein and carbohydrates, all organic, of course. The dishes would be wooden or glass or stainless steel and you would cook with a cast iron skillet. You would not be eating Hamburger Helper and canned green beans. You would be beyond that.

You'd bathe the children and read to them from a beautifully illustrated, hardcover book. You would answer all of their questions and still tuck them into bed on time. Afterwards, you would not fall asleep, exhausted, on the sofa while watching a rerun of The Jersey Shore.

You would work hard and be a devoted mother and a loving wife, 100% of the time. You would find the time for all of it. Your life would be fulfilling and purposeful and you would be proud. You'd leave your children a legacy to remember.

Now get to it. Right after you finish that cup of coffee and write a blog post.

Love, Rae