Papa

Travis,

You pester my mind in both good and bad ways, which I imagine is not too uncommon considering we have been married for just short of a decade. I will start with the negative so that we may end on a good note.
First off, you smoke like a chimney. I understand the desire to smoke, I still sneak one in every now and then. What I don't understand is the absolute nonchalant attitude concerning the severity of burning up a pack a day. You will die from this. It may not manifest as lung cancer, but it will manifest and it will kill you. I try and communicate with you about my desire for us to grow old together, preferably without you in an iron lung, or a hole in your throat that makes you sound like a robot. You genuinely do not care. I don't understand it and it drives me nuts.
Secondly, you are never satisfied with your vehicle. You build a bike, like it for a moment, sell it. You trade one car for another, throw money into it to make it what you want, see something else you like, trade again. It's like there is this enormous black hole in your soul that is calmed only when you feed it a new vehicle. I imagine this problem is genetic, as I have watched your father feed the same demon. Maybe it is a genuine love of something non living, which I will never understand. I take that back. My black hole eats clearance items, which would be the same if the items were thousands of dollars and took fixing.
Lastly here, in the bad section I must mention religion. It irks me beyond all things that you refuse to genuinely contemplate spirituality. This, like smoking, is something you just do not care about. You don't think about life after death, or miracles, or healing, or the tortured state of humanity and the human soul. All of these things are "Whatev." to you. The little bit that you DO think about or "know" is inaccurate and when corrected it is as if the correct information makes no difference in your opinion. You think the Bible is silly, yet you know nothing about it. You are faithless. You want God to come down and tap you on the back, yet you refuse to acknowledge that God exists just based on what you see everyday. You are the epitome of a man away from God and I wish you had any concept of His love for you regardless of that.
NOW, onto how you pester my mind in a good way!
You make me think logically. You question my reasoning and emotional response. You don't let me get away with being less than who I really am. You make me think outside of my self built box of ideas and beliefs. You push my buttons in a way that is almost as endearing as it is agitating. When I question you you give honest thought to what I may be asking, but always stay true to yourself even when it isn't what I want. You don't care that I don't understand certain aspects of you, and you don't change them due to my lack of understanding. You accept that I have some mental hangups, but never accept or let me accept allowing them to run my life. You push me, Decker. You push me to do things I need to do, but don't want to. You push me to think when I don't want to think and stop thinking when I am over thinking. You drive me crazy in so many ways, but I would not be the woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, or human that I am today without you behind me. Behind this great woman surely stands a great man. I love you.