A letter to the person who has hurt me the most.

Dear Molly,

You stay up too late. You eat fast food and bad things even though you are trying to lose weight. You push yourself too far when you’re running from time to time and you give up social events that you could benefit from for the sake of homework. That would be fine, but you wouldn’t need to if you managed your time more efficiently.

You hurt me all the time and I don’t understand why. You set me up for failure, and I don’t get it. It’s a constant battle for me to get you to do what’s right as opposed to what you want to do or what you need in the moment. You’re too smart for that. You’re too special to be behaving like an asshole. You’ve got too much life and too much energy to waste it on the wrong things.

Get a grip, girl. Get up and face the world. Put one foot in front of the other and write out a color-coded schedule if you need to. Acknowledge when you are being impulsive and making decisions that aren’t good for you or your family. Take a deep breath, girl. Instead of being your own worst enemy, be your own best friend.

You’ve done wonderfully in school, you’ve committed and you’re almost done. At this time next year, you could be starting a career, and you’ll definitely be starting your master’s. That’s something to be proud of, instead of feeling shame that it took you longer to get here than the “average” person.

You’ve committed to losing weight and been dropping pounds. You’ve become more active and healthier and best of all, it’s impacted your mental state in a positive way. That’s awesome and you should own it, instead of focusing on the last 10 pounds you have to lose and whether or not you’ll ever be happy with your weight.

You’re an awesome mom. You’re devoted and caring and you try your best. You’re just also a busy mom who has her own homework to and you’re a human being. Stop beating yourself up for not doing massive art projects and for losing your patience from time to time. That’s life. You move on and you make your children feel loved, and that’s what matters.

Quit bringing yourself to darkness when you’re so full of light. It’s going to be okay. Just focus on the good. Focus on being healthy. Focus on being an adult. The rest will fall into place.

Love,
Yourself